


First time for everything.

by lemon_boie



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Influenza, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Panic Attack, Sick Character, Sick Deke, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 21:44:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_boie/pseuds/lemon_boie
Summary: What happens when Deke has never seen illness and comes down with the flu?Well, illness of course! With an extra added hint of emotional angst because Deke doesn't understand what is happening at first and it brings down his mood for the entire day.AU (?) where the Kree sterilized the lighthouse so illness didn't really exist unless genetic, through old age or through body mutation.A Deke Influenza fic.18/7/19 edit: corrected visible mistakes, changed a few parts and separated paragraphs to make it more readable.





	First time for everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this was not supposed to be half as long as it is, but here we are. 
> 
> I may have also exaggerated some of the symptoms and all. I apologise if it seems slightly bad because of that.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> I also couldn't resist adding some good old Daisy and Fitz reconciliation, 5x14 broke my soul.  
> Also, everyone is good, no one is dead. Nope. Fitz and Coulson are gucci.
> 
> Also low-key dedicated to my friend Yellow bc they are great.

Deke woke up feeling like something was wrong, he let out a breath and realised how much it hurt. 

He immediately pushed himself up in a slight panic, he immediately felt dizzy and realised how much his body hurt, this wasn’t right.

Deke didn’t know what to do and felt weaker than ever. He felt weak too. Was he dying? What was this? He let out a painful breath and coughed with a follow-up sneeze. Deke slowly got up and couldn’t tell which way was up for a moment. 

When he was finally out from his duvet on his bed, he realised that his temperature was wrong, he was shivering. Why was this happening? Did someone poison him? 

Deke fiddled with his shaky hands before heading off to see the others. If he was dying he had to say goodbye, or maybe they could help him. He grabbed his dressing gown to feel a bit warmer. 

Deke shuffled unsteadily, he was headed to the main control room slowly and carefully, he cursed the lighthouse for being so big and dreaded getting to the elevator. 

He had to stop at least 10 times to catch his breath and to stop the room from spinning. Was he about to pass out? What if he died before he got to the others. Deke found himself worrying but tried to keep himself calm somewhat. 

“T-there has to be an e-explanation. There h-has to.” He sighed, talking was wasting his breath, his voice also sounded weird. He had to continue on his way. He felt too warm now, he dropped his duvet and dressing gown on the floor, with a tired huff. 

He had to stop a few times before he stumbled and fell with a yelp. Was this it? No. He had to keep going. He pushed himself up with a dangerous sway. He heard a set of footsteps approaching before he got up completely. 

“He-hello, who’s there?” Deke called out with a hoarse and shaky voice, he felt tears tugging at his eyes. He felt so bad, he needed help.

“Deke?” Fitz approached around the corner, taking in Deke’s stature. Fitz rushed to him, helping him up. 

“B-bobo.” Deke cried out in a childish relief, letting the tears flow over.

“Deke? What’s wrong?” Fitz panicked, Deke was almost hysterical, he then could tell Deke’s temperature was off, it wasn’t high enough to spark a reaction like this though, however, it was enough to maybe edge the hysteria on.

“W-what is happ’ning to me?” He breathed with a painful cough to follow up.

“You’re just sick,” Fitz said softly. Deke’s eyes widened, sickness was something that was rare and often was fatal. 

“N-n-no, can’t be.” Deke whimpered. “Sickness kills, I don’t want to d-die, d-don’t let me die. Please, bobo, I don’t want to die.” Deke sobbed. 

Fitz understood somewhat what was going on now, “you’re not going to die. You are okay.” Fitz found himself on the floor with Deke sobbing into his shoulder, Fitz felt annoyed for a moment but pushed it away.

“B-but everyone that got sick died, m-most anyway. ‘M so tired.” Deke whimpered. Fitz sighed, realising that Deke has never been ill. He was happy that he never had but it broke his heart to see his grandson like this, even if he didn’t like him much. 

“Do you know what the flu is, Deke?”

“No.”

“That’s what I think you have, I guess, that sickness bacteria can’t survive in space well.”

“The flu? W-what is that?”

“Again, what you have. You’ll be okay.

“I won’t die?”

“No, you’re okay, I promise. Now come on, let’s get you back to bed.” Fitz half carried Deke back to his room. They picked up the duvet and dressing gown on the way back. 

Once they got there, Deke had calmed down but was still shaking slightly, he still was scared of illness after what he’d seen. Illness was rare and horrid. It still rang in his mind despite Fitz’s words. 

Deke laid down in his bed, his back to Fitz and the door, trying not to feel scared, he began to notice that he wasn’t usually this freaked about dying, so he wasn’t sure why he was. But he let out a sigh then a cough. He felt embarrassed over it and felt Fitz’s stare, he was also freezing despite being under the duvet. He then slowly pulled it over his head, wanting to hide and warm up.

Fitz sat in a chair with his arms crossed, keeping an eye on Deke and felt unsure what else to do, especially when Deke decided to go completely under the duvet. He guessed he should tell others, but that idea came into play immediately when he heard a pair of footsteps approaching. Fitz immediately recognised them as Daisy’s and Jemma’s. 

“Deke!” Jemma called.

“See if he’s in his dorm,” Daisy spoke. Fitz stepped outside to see them, to explain to them about Deke. He took in their glances when he stepped outside, he saw Jemma’s was full of question and Daisy’s was also full of question but a hint of coldness towards him. 

Daisy was still a bit unforgiving to him after the psychotic break he had but they were fixing it now, he was glad, he missed her as a friend. 

“Leo, is Deke in there?” Daisy asked, crossing her arms. Fitz was shaken out of his wandering thoughts. 

“Um, yeah, but he’s- uh, ill. Bad flu, I think.” Fitz explained looking down. Fitz then stepped closer to them and began to talk in a quiet voice, hoping Deke wouldn’t hear. “He’s a bit shaken up, apparently sickness was a rare occurrence unless the type that comes with old age or mutation as far as I can tell. The Kree apparently sterilized the lighthouse so sickness caused by germs and all that was non-existent. He’s never seen the flu before. I practically dragged him off the floor about a five minutes walk from here and he was blubbering about how he thinks he’s going to die. His fever isn’t quite high to cause full delirium, so there was truth to it, but the fever could be high enough to make him emotional.” Fitz looked up at them both. “I think he’s still awake, but he’s a mess.” Fitz stepped aside to signal for them to go in.

Deke noticed Fitz leave the room but Deke knew someone was there, he could hear muffled voices over his ringing ears, headache and duvet before he couldn’t hear them anymore. 

Deke wondered if Fitz had gone elsewhere and that he was alone, until a few seconds later he heard more people enter his room. He remained under the duvet, he let out another cough, grumbling about it. 

Deke then felt a hand on top of the duvet. It was somewhat calming. He let out a slight smile to himself before it fell as another throb passed through him. He squeezed his eyes shut and felt himself whimper, he didn’t mean to whimper out loud. He hoped none of the others noticed, but he knew they had, the hand on him had moved. He opened his eyes and noticed how tired he was again, his eyes wanted to close again. He was about to let them, however, the hand returned and was now moving instead of staying in one place. 

Jemma looked at the lump in the duvet that was her sick grandson. She walked forward softly and gently placed her hand on the duvet where he was, but removed it when he whimpered a few seconds later. Jemma looked at Fitz and Daisy who were standing close to the door, she turned back around and then put her hand back on and started rubbing him soothingly, she felt his shaking and could hear his loud breathing, she wondered if he knew he was breathing loud.

Jemma recalled when she was sick that her breathing got loud but she didn’t usually notice until someone brought it up. Jemma turned to Fitz and signalled him to get a thermometer, he didn’t get her actions at first but then understood and left to go retrieve one. Daisy sat down on the chair opposite, watching Fitz leave then turned back to the bed where Deke hid. Jemma then decided to try and coax him from under the duvet. 

“Deke?” She said quietly. Jemma heard a small noise as a reply, noting that he was tired. “Can I draw back the covers Deke?” Jemma asked still quietly. 

“Okay,” Deke replied quietly. Jemma’s heart almost broke at the way he sounded.

“One moment Deke.” Jemma walked to Daisy so that Deke wouldn’t hear as well. “Can you tell everyone else that Deke will be out of commission for a few days?” Jemma could tell how down Deke was before even seeing him.

Daisy nodded and left the room. Jemma returned to Deke. “I’m taking the duvet off.” Jemma reminded Deke then she drew the covers back, Jemma didn’t miss the almost silent whimper he emitted as the dim light hit his eyes. 

Deke had his back to Jemma. Jemma wanted him to face them, would make it easier. “Can you roll over?” Jemma had placed her hand on him again. Deke despite feeling tired and heavy like led, he shifted and rolled over to face Jemma, he had his eyes squinted, but they were open slightly. 

“How do you feel?”Jemma asked him, she felt dumb for asking but still wanted Deke’s opinion on it.

“Mmm. Hard to explain. Everything hurts. Tired, and other things, dunno how to describe them.” He spoke quietly and hoarsely, Deke then coughed. “That too.” Deke then closed his eyes. Jemma then took in how he looked, his eyes had the usual dark look around the lids, that didn’t change, but he definitely had a fever-flush and was definitely very pale and sweaty, also breathing heavily through his mouth, almost like a pant. 

Jemma then noticed he also had tear tracks. He was no longer crying which was good but she had never seen him cry or exactly sad. Jemma then decided to see how approximately high his fever was, he gently placed a hand on his forehead. Deke leaned into it, he enjoyed the touch. Deke started coughing harshly, she moved her hand to his back and rubbed it, it was awkward since he was now facing her but at least it helped. 

Fitz then returned with a thermometer, medication and water. He handed Jemma the thermometer. 

“Deke, I need you to open your mouth,” Jemma spoke softly, Fitz sat down in the chair that Daisy previously occupied and watched the two. 

“Wha’- why?” He mumbled, opening his eyes to a squint. 

“We want to check your temperature, it helps us help you.”

“‘Kay.” Deke opened his mouth and Jemma inserted the thermometer.

“Put your tongue on top of it,” Jemma told him and Deke did as she said. Two minutes later, the thermometer beeped, showing the result of 101.5°F. “It’s 101.5 Fahrenheit, Fitz. Not too bad, but will need to be kept an eye on.” Jemma looked at Deke, he had eyes shut again. 

Jemma then lay a hand on his head again. “Try to get some sleep.” She smiled softly, seeing Deke close his eyes again.

“What about the medication I bought back?” Fitz argued, placing the water near Deke.  
“I’ll keep him off meds for now unless necessary, they help yes, but sometimes fever is good for fighting the flu quicker,” Jemma spoke before she was practically ushering Fitz out of the room. 

Daisy headed towards the main control room where she knew everyone would probably be. She found herself to be right when she got there. Coulson turned to her. 

“Daisy, there you are. Where are Deke and Fitzsimmons?” Coulson took a few steps to her. Everyone else was now facing her. Everyone else being Mack, Yo-Yo and May.

“Uh yeah, Deke has caught the flu somehow. He’s really not doing well.” Daisy looked to the doorway she came through. “Fitz apparently found him in a big blubbering mess, he hasn’t seen much of illness in his life since the Kree sterilised the Lighthouse of germs and bacteria. He freaked out because the only illness he’s ever seen has usually turned fatal since it would be mutation or cell-based.” She sighed. “He hasn’t exactly caught a soft bout of it either, from what I saw and was told, Jemma said he’d probably be down for the count for the next few days.” She shrugged. 

Daisy walked around to the computers and screens to see what the others were doing, she didn’t see much. “A quiet day for once? God, it’s been so long since we have had nothing to do. Guess that’s our reward for saving the world and all.” Daisy let a small smile cross her lips. “And now, I feel bored already. Movie day and pizza anyone?” Daisy turned to face the others, that seemed to agree with her plans. 

Coulson nodded, “Sounds like a plan. I’ll order pizza and go to collect. May, you coming?” He looked at May who then followed him and they both headed for the exit of the Lighthouse. This left Mack, Yo-Yo and Daisy in the room. Daisy wasn’t on the best terms with Elena either. Daisy began to leave the room. 

“You two can decide the movie if you want,” Daisy spoke as she was walking out of the room back in the direction she came. She saw Jemma and Leo approaching, “How is he?” Daisy asked them. 

“He has a 101.5 temperature, so he’s definitely not great but it’s not too much to concern over. I think the worst part is how he feels emotionally if I’m honest. Obviously, I can’t say for sure, because he’s definitely bad physically, but I’ve never seen him so down and scared either, you’ve seen him before when he’s been in pain, he’s still talking your ears off. He’s barely said a word.” Jemma spoke, looking down. “He was feeling very tired so we left him in peace.” 

“Alright, well, fortunately for us, it’s a quiet uneventful day it seems, everything else seems to be good today. So May and Coulson have gone to get pizza while Mack and Yo-Yo are going to choose a film or two for us to watch. It’s nice to finally have a down day.” Daisy smiled, hoping today would be quiet, though she felt worried for Deke, she hoped he’d be okay.

“Glad to hear, should we see how Mack and Yo-Yo are doing?” Fitz turned to Daisy and Jemma, and they both nodded yes.

Mack and Yo-Yo ended up choosing a film called Grown Ups to watch, Jemma and Fitz were sat at the back of the room on a two-seat sofa under a thin but comfy blanket, with their own shared pizza and out of the sight of the others, Jemma was watching but her mind kept going back to Deke and so she wasn’t paying attention, she couldn’t help but feel greatly worried about him. 

Fitz must have noticed because she spaced out with the worried thoughts until Fitz placed his hand on her leg, she hadn’t noticed she was bouncing it anxiously. Fitz leaned in to whisper in her ear. 

“Are you okay?” Fitz asked concerned, taking in Jemma’s worried body language.

“Yeah- yeah- I mean, I’m just worried about him Fitz. I don’t feel right leaving him alone when he’s in a bad way.” Jemma whispered back, hoping none of the others heard.

“You should go see him, it’s really stressing you out, I’ll come to look for you in a bit.” Fitz smiled softly, taking his hand off her leg. Jemma got up and walked out of the room, the others didn’t notice until she was already out of the door, but noticed her quick stressed out walking pace, they all looked at Fitz confused. Coulson placed the movie on pause for a moment. 

Daisy was the first to ask; “Is she okay?”

“Just worried about Deke, that’s all.” Fitz answered, “I’ll go check on them in a bit.”

Everyone seemed satisfied with the answer and turned on the movie, Fitz settled down into the back of the seat he was using, but now couldn’t find it easy to relax since she was gone, he sighed to himself sadly. 

Deke woke up from his nap, he was coughing like hell and found himself sweaty but freezing, he rolled over and chucked his duvet on the floor at some point during his time asleep, he still felt scared about this flu thing he had, he was feeling slightly worse than earlier and he still felt terrified over it, suddenly feeling really lonely, being alone doesn’t usually bother him but everything just felt too much at that very moment and he found himself crying again. 

He didn’t even have the energy to go pick his duvet up, and his whole body hurt too. He felt like he could do nothing but cry. Though crying really wasn’t helping his headache, Deke pulled his hands to his eyes it sparked the ache but all he did was cry over it. 

Jemma speed-walked to Deke’s room, she slowed down when she got close, she placed her ear by the door before entering to see if he was awake or not, she got the answer when she could hear soft sobs and sniffles, 

Jemma hesitated but knew he probably needed consolation, so she opened the door softly. When she walked in, the duvet was chucked on the floor, his back was to the door and his hands were covering his face, she knew he was aware of her presence because he tried to make the audible crying stop immediately as she entered his room. Jemma walked closer and sat on his bed.

“Deke, it’s no good keeping it in, let it out,” Jemma spoke but couldn’t see his face, he kept it hidden. She heard him let out a wet, frustrated sigh. He was still holding it in, Jemma felt her heart break again, the way he acted when vulnerable was like Fitz. 

She wondered if she could comfort him like she did Fitz when her and Fitz were nothing more than best friends. Jemma placed her hand on Deke’s shoulder.

“Let it out.” She soothed, rubbing his shoulder gently, he still felt warm, but nothing different from earlier. He was still shaking but she didn’t think crying helped. The more Jemma rubbed his shoulder, the more he started to let it out again. “That’s it, there we go. You’re okay.” She continued to comfort him this way for a good five minutes before he eventually calmed down somewhat. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Jemma asked Deke. Deke moved his hands from his face but didn’t turn to face Jemma. He was still crying slightly but no longer sobbing. 

“I’m n-not sure how to say it, everything j-just got too much, I-I guess.” Deke’s voice felt shaky from the crying, his sore throat didn’t help how he sounded. “I’m uh, okay now. I think.” Deke sighed. “W-well, as okay as I c-can be I guess.” He looked at Jemma and gave a slight, pitiful smile, before sighing, he closed his eyes and moved his head back to where it was. “What’s everyone doing? Surely something is going on, y-you should help them, y-you have a job to d-do.” Deke sighed, despite wanting her to stay more than anything.

“It’s actually a quiet day, nothing’s happening for once, it’s okay. I can stay.” Jemma replied. Deke was thankful that she could stay. He then felt a painful throb surge through his head, he winced and could tell it was evident since Jemma moved her hand across his shoulder when he winced. 

The pain caused him dizziness but he was new to the sensation and didn’t know what was happening, he moved his stiff aching arm to rub his head, hoping it would help.

“Jemma?”

“Yes, Deke?”

“I don’t know how to describe it, but my head feels weak, it hurts too but I know what headaches are. When I stood up earlier, everything seemed sort of distant, and the room was spinning around me. Is that normal? I’m okay right? I’ve never felt it before, not that bad anyway.” He opened his eyes again.

“It’s just dizziness, Deke, it’s normal for the flu, don’t worry, you’re okay.” Jemma smiled softly.

Deke was grateful for her, he understood why his mother spoke about Jemma with so much love and admiration.

“Alright.” He spoke, but then coughed. He was breathing pretty heavily for a few moments before it settled down, he was still breathing slightly heavily but not enough to be a concern. He was badly shivering again and remembered that he wanted his duvet. “J-Jemma, can you g-get the duvet, I’m-I’m really c-cold.” He breathed out. 

Jemma stood up and placed it over him. She knew that it wouldn’t do much to help, but Jemma kept an eye on Deke’s breathing, it remained heavy. She then pulled the chair that was near the door close to his bed. 

Deke began to move, “Can you help me sit up? I would, but my b-body hurts and feels too w-weak to cooperate much right now. I-I uh also don’t trust that diz- diz- that thing we talked about a m-moment ago-“ 

“Dizziness.” Jemma smiled in slight humour but stood back up to help him up. Jemma was glad he seemed a bit perkier now.

“Dizziness!” Deke said right after, he allowed himself to be shifted by Jemma.

“I’ll move you slowly so that you don’t get too much dizziness from moving, okay?”

“Okay.” He blinked, mentally preparing for it. Jemma helped him move slowly, she got to a certain point before she felt him sway and lean into one side and close his eyes.

“Easy! Easy, I got you.” Jemma let him get himself together for a moment.

“O-okay, I’m good-d now.” He opened his eyes again and blinked a few times. Jemma began moving him again, she leaned him against the wall that his bed was against. Jemma repositioned the duvet around him to stabilise him more. Deke leaned his head against the wall slowly and drew his legs to his chest. “This is better.” He sighed. 

“Glad to hear.” Jemma let a smile across her lips, it turned quiet after that.

Deke smiled but it fell quickly, he still felt like it was too much, he was coping for now, but it was still a struggle.

Fitz then entered the room, he saw Deke leaning against the wall, Fitz also didn’t miss the frown that was there, before seeing Fitz and changing to a more stoic expression. Fitz knew he was feeling worse than letting than on, which was a change from earlier. He also didn’t miss the fresh tear tracks on Deke’s face. Fitz decided it was better to leave it, it seemed partially okay right now which was enough. Jemma looked at Fitz, expectantly.

“The film is almost finished, how are both of you doing?” Fitz fiddled with his hands.

Jemma spoke first, “I’m okay Fitz, thanks for asking.”

Deke spoke a few seconds later, Fitz didn’t miss the hesitant answer, “I’m okay right now.” Deke lied, hoping the other two didn’t notice, he knew they probably did. Truth was, he was in quite a bit of pain, felt weak, and his head felt stuffed and heavy. 

He was also emotionally drained and hoped he could keep a rein on his emotions, but didn’t know how long he could. He just felt like everything was wrong. He didn’t know if the illness caused him to feel like this today. He’s felt like this before but back then he was always busy and pushed it down. But now he was unable to do that and felt stuck in a pile of self-pity. 

Deke didn’t really notice Jemma and Fitz start their own conversation. He zoned it out, he closed his eyes and let his legs slide down back onto the mattress. Closing his eyes helped, stopped his eyes from hurting so much. 

Fitz noticed all of the signs that Deke was doing worse than letting on. But he didn’t want to press Deke on it. Instead, he turned to Jemma and talked to her. 

“The others worried about you quickly leaving like that, they understood though.” Fitz nodded. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked again, touching her shoulder.

Jemma looked at Fitz. They could understand each other by the way they hold their expression. Fitz could see on Jemma’s face that she was worried, and it was closer to a ‘no, I’m not really okay, I’m anxious’ than a ‘yes, I’m just a tad worried’. Fitz nodded, rubbing her shoulders.

“Okay.” Fitz then saw her look at Deke who had closed his eyes and moved his legs into a more relaxed position. Jemma looked at Fitz who she could tell was worried too. Neither of them really wanted to talk about Deke out loud as if he wasn’t there. Fitz then got his phone out, he decided to text Jemma and converse there.

**[14:34] Fitz: He’s really not doing good.  
** [14:34] Simmons: I know, I can tell he’s hiding it right now, it’s been a tough day on him I think, especially if he’s never been sick before.  
[14:35] Simmons: He probably needs food too, he’s not drunk the water we gave him earlier either.  
[14:35] Fitz: I’ll go make some soup, try to get him to drink. 

Jemma then looked up from her phone and nodded. Fitz left the room and Jemma wondered if Deke had fallen asleep again because he hadn’t stirred since he closed his eyes again.

“Deke?” Jemma called his name.

Deke opened one eye, Jemma didn’t know if she was relieved or not that he hadn’t nodded off again, “You should drink some water, being dehydrated doesn’t help.” Jemma stood up and got the water bottle and was going to give it to Deke, he just needed to get his arms from under the duvet. Deke opened both eyes, realising how thirsty he was, he wanted the bottle but his arms didn’t really want to cooperate, the weight of the duvet didn’t help much.

“Um, uh, give me one moment, I can’t move my arms well, they’re still heavy and, uh, hurt a bit,” Deke grumbled. Jemma put the bottle down to help him move his arms, she hoped it was just the duvet restricting them. 

“Try and move them now,” Jemma advised. Deke did as she said, it was a bit easier now but he still found it difficult. He tried to move them and winced. 

“They’ve gone stiff and heavy, I r-really can’t move them well.” Deke let his stress show. Jemma moved to massage them, hoping she could remove the tension, Deke was losing his fight against the dam of emotions that were building up again, he didn’t want to lose it for the third time but damn, he was in a lot of pain. 

The massage soothed them slightly and they were no longer stiff. “Okay, okay. I can move them now, thanks.” He breathed, he started flexing his hands and elbows to keep them loose, he then noticed himself shaking slightly. He wondered internally if he could catch a break.

Jemma went and returned with the water bottle. Deke grabbed with a slightly shaky hand, the bottle wasn’t open, and so he tried his best to open it but he couldn’t, he now found himself to be hot and sweaty again. 

He put the bottle down and began trying to get the duvet off but struggled, “Jemma, please help me remove the duvet, it suddenly got really hot, please.” He sounded almost desperate to be free of it when it was off, he was panting. “Th-thanks.” Deke had forgotten about the water, but Jemma was quick to remind him. She picked the bottle up, got the lid off and handed it to him, but made sure it didn’t tip. 

“Drink it slowly, drinking too fast won’t help much.” Jemma soothed. Deke did just that, the water did little for his throat, it scraped against it. He pushed the bottle away after a few swallows, Deke was fed up of everything hurting and not being able to soothe it. He scowled over it and swallowed painfully before coughing. He felt his emotional dam breaking and he had to do something now. 

“Help me up.” Deke pushed himself off the wall and slowly shuffled to the edge of the bed.

“Why? Do you need to go to the toilet or something?” Jemma asked going to his side, he felt slightly hotter than earlier now and Jemma noticed, she was about to voice her concern, but Deke spoke first.

“I gotta do something, even if it's just walking, I can’t handle being stuck in bed.”

“You can barely sit up without swaying, how do you expect to stand? Let alone walk.”

“You can help me, just take me somewhere else, please.” Deke pleaded, now trying to get up on his own since Jemma had taken to questioning him instead. Jemma became aware of the desperation in his voice. 

“Deke- just wait a minute, please?” Jemma tried to reason, she wanted to get his temperature again. She gently pushed him back on the bed. “Stay there a second.”

“Alright,” Deke grumbled, Jemma retrieved the thermometer. 

“We did this earlier, open up,” Jemma ordered. Deke did so, waiting for the thing to beep again. When it did so, Jemma took it out, “hm.” Deke noticed Jemma wasn’t happy and was worried about what she saw, and it sparked anxiety in his chest.

“What’s w-wrong?” Deke shivered, but he tried to keep a strong composure.

“Your temperature has gone up a bit, if it goes up much more, I’ll have to find a way to cool your body down. It’s still in a safe range though, don’t worry.” Jemma looked at Deke with compassion. Jemma placed the thermometer in her pocket for later use.

Deke coughed then looked back to Jemma, “Right, can we go somewhere now? Please.” He continued begging. 

“Okay, let me just tell Fitz that we are going.” Jemma pulled out her phone to text Fitz.

**[14:53] Simmons: Deke desperately wants to leave the room all of a sudden, we’ll be elsewhere. Not sure where yet.  
[14:54] Fitz: Alright.**

Jemma walked back over to Deke, now helping him up slowly, “tell me if you need to stop? Is the change of position okay?

“Alright, and my heads a bit um, dizzy, but I’m alright,” Deke spoke once moving, hoping he could find a distraction or something.

Jemma looked at him. “Where do you want to go?”  
“Where everyone else is?” Deke replied, hoping the others would give him the distraction he needed.

“Alright, do you want me to help you keep your balance or do you want to try and walk by yourself?”

“The latter, I’ll tell you if I need help though.” Deke nodded, he felt Jemma’s hand move off him, he found himself missing the touch but walked forward, his feet were sluggish but he was moving. 

Before they were out of the room, Deke looked back and at Jemma. He was starting to feel cold again, he leaned against the door frame, “can you grab my dressing gown, please?” Deke asked politely, Jemma did so and passed it to him, Deke put it on, and didn’t face many struggles apart from the aches and lightheadedness, once it was on, he continued on his way, he stayed close to the wall just in case.

They made it about five minutes of slow walking before Deke let out a vicious sneeze that left him swaying, he fell against the wall. He held a hand on his forehead and had his eyes closed  
“Deke, you alright?” Jemma questioned, feeling concerned.

“Ye-yeah, that sneeze took a toll on my head, I-I think I need to sit down for a moment.” He opened his eyes, Deke’s head moved unnaturally, he tried to get a look at Jemma but couldn’t focus well, he closed his eyes. Jemma walked closer to him as he swayed, even against the wall, she helped him sit down slowly, making sure he didn’t keel over to one side, he almost did at one point.

Jemma held him up, “easy, easy. It’s okay, just rest for a few minutes, you’re okay.” She spoke softly to Deke. She moved Deke’s knees up to his chest and gently guided his head onto them, “we will try and move again in a few minutes, take as long as you need.” Jemma rubbed Deke’s back. 

Deke sat like that for a few minutes, the dizziness and lightheaded died back, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to move much now. He knew he had to but the dam of feelings was now leaking. 

Deke trembled, he was still very cold even with his dressing gown on. He was starting to feel tired again, and most motivation to move had gone, but he knew he couldn’t stay here and didn’t want to go back to his room. 

Deke felt his eyes water but now was not the time to let it go. They had to move. Deke raised his head slowly, “we should move now.” Jemma looked at Deke’s eyes and saw the unnatural shine, she knew he was close to breaking down again before she could question him, Deke wiped his eyes dry with a shaky and sluggish hand, then tried to push himself up the wall. Jemma saved her words and helped him up. “Thanks.” 

He breathed out hoarsely. Deke knew he was bad at hiding stuff, especially like this, and he knew Jemma probably saw the tears in his eyes, but he wanted to ignore his feelings, if he acknowledged them, they’d take over. Jemma kept quiet, sensing his intense need to bottle his emotions.

Jemma and Deke reached the elevator after two more minutes. 

Jemma looked at Deke, “are you sure you want to go where everyone else is? We need to take the elevator as you know but it may not help your head.” 

“I’ll be fine.” Deke decided, he pressed the button to call the elevator and then moved to the wall next to the elevator they had called. 

The elevator came after a minute, Deke went in first, then Jemma.

“You sure you can handle it?” Jemma questioned.

“Yeah,” Deke answered.

“Alright,” Jemma was still hesitant but pressed the floor button. The doors closed and the elevator began to move to the chosen floor. Jemma looked to Deke, he seemed to be managing it thankfully. 

The doors opened again after a few minutes, it was a silent ride. Jemma observed Deke as he left, he seemed slightly unsteady, so she stuck close to him. 

Deke picked up on it and was thankful, but he felt his eyes threaten to spill over again, he wasn’t sure he could stop it now, he felt like sitting down again and staying there, but they were close to where he originally wanted to go. He was unsure if he wanted to be around everyone now, he didn’t want to fall apart in front of them, now that he knew it was inevitably going to happen again. 

He hated feeling emotional like this. Deke slowed his pace, his anxiety was growing in his chest. Deke coughed as a far-fetched attempt to push it away, of course, it didn’t work. The room they were headed for was in view now, and Deke’s dam collapsed, he was too tired to hold it any longer. Deke found himself completely stopping, Jemma noticed him come to a stop.

“Deke? We are almost there, you can do it.” She smiled encouragingly, they were close enough that she could hear the distant talk of the others, not enough to make out words, however. Jemma thought that he was tired as his posture had dropped completely, his head hung low. Deke then raised his head, he showed watery eyes.

Jemma dropped her smile and was immediately concerned, “hey now, what’s wrong?”

“It’s a- it’s nothing. I’m fine. I’m fine.” Deke whimpered, it was an obvious lie. He rubbed his eyes. 

“Deke..” Jemma could see right through him, his eyes watered up almost immediately after he rubbed them, Deke was struggling, she now understood that it wasn’t just a bad day physically, he was struggling emotionally too. She placed her hands on Deke’s shoulders and pulled him into a slow comforting hug. She felt him lean his head on her shoulder. 

“I’m s-sorry.” Deke blubbered. Jemma rubbed his back.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Deke, you’re just having a bad day. We all have them.” She whispered and heard him let out a quiet sob. 

“How about we sit down again? We can see the others when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Deke replied, despite making barely any effort to move. Jemma knew she would have to help him move, so she did. She gently helped him sit down, when he did, he hid his face. “It’s t-too much. I’m sorr-ry.” He gasped between sobs. Jemma sat by his side and let him lean against.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, it’ll be okay.” She rubbed his shoulder. “It’s okay.”

Daisy, Coulson, May, Mack and Yo-Yo were all in the same room. They’d finished the film about half an hour ago, most of the pizza had been eaten. Everyone was talking with each other over general stuff that wasn’t SHIELD based for once. 

They all enjoyed the positive energy, they then heard Jemma’s distant voice, they heard what sounded like Deke too, but a bit hoarser. 

Everyone picked up on it and grew quiet when the very quiet cries could just be heard. The positive energy was immediately washed away, everyone felt concerned. 

Yo-Yo decided to use her powers to go and see what was going on. She used the other side of the corridor so that the turbulence from her powers wouldn’t be seen or felt. She saw Jemma and Deke sat against the wall. Deke was leaning against Jemma and he looked like he was crying. Jemma was holding him in place, trying to comfort him. Yo-Yo didn’t miss the concern on Jemma’s face as she looked at Deke. 

Yo-Yo then felt her power tugging her back to her original place, she ran back with an update on what she saw. Yo-Yo returned and could feel the eyes on her, the sudden swish of her hair giving away the fact she went to see what was happening.

“Something’s wrong with Deke, as in, he’s crying into Jemma’s shoulder and she looks really concerned. Should we do something?” Yo-Yo reported and then asked. 

Coulson turned to Daisy, who was looking slightly concerned, “go check on them, try and help Deke if he needs it.” 

Daisy nodded to Coulson’s order and then walked out of the door and immediately saw them, “Jemma?” Daisy called out. Jemma’s head turned to Daisy.

“Daisy.” Jemma acknowledged, Jemma felt Deke stir and rubbed his shoulder assuringly. Daisy walked closer to them both, giving a questionable look.

“Is he in pain?” She wondered out loud but realised that couldn’t be the case, she’d seen him internally bleeding before but it didn’t turn into a mess like this, she then realised it was more an emotional problem than physical.

Jemma shook her head. Daisy heard a whimper from Deke that sounded like he was saying, “I’m fine.” 

“Bullshit Deke.” Daisy didn’t mean to sound harsh but it slipped out, she earned a look from Jemma, Daisy swallowed, “sorry. Give me a second.” Daisy walked back to the room. 

Jemma watched Daisy walked away back to the room, Jemma decided to try and get Deke to open up. 

“Deke,” Jemma spoke.

“I’m fine,” Deke replied bluntly, though his voice was thick from the crying.

“Just look at me please.” Jemma rubbed his shoulder, Deke raised his head slowly, smudge tear tracks evident, he wiped his eyes bet let out another quiet sob while doing so. “There we go. Now talk to me, what’s wrong? Did everything get too much again?” Jemma asked him.

“Y-yeah. I mean. It’s just a b-bad day. A re-really bad one. Usually, I can handle d-days like t-this but with this flu t-thing. I can’t do it. It’s o-one thing to feel lower than a-anything but it’s anot-another thing to uh be like t-this. It h-hurts a lot. It hurts s-so much.” He let the tears slip out. “I can’t do anything to n-not feel so low. I c-can’t handle it- I can’t.” Deke felt like a child but once it was out he couldn’t stop, he felt dizzy again, and tired again. He was sweating visibly and shivering badly, Deke leaned his head on her shoulder. “I’m s-sorry.” He whined.

Jemma held the back of his head, he felt hotter again she noticed, he was shivering and sweating more than earlier, she was about to get the thermometer out again when she heard footsteps down the hall, she looked to the door of the room. 

She saw May, Mack and Yo-Yo leave the room, they walked the opposite way but not before looking at Jemma and Deke with their respective worried looks. Daisy and Coulson then left the room but walked towards them instead. Daisy noted that Deke had moved. Jemma put the thermometer back in her pocket.

“We’ll help you get him into the room.” Coulson directed at Jemma. Jemma felt Deke move, he raised his head but it swayed slightly. Coulson and Daisy took in his composure, he had the evident look of crying, they also picked up the sway of his head, they realised he was tired and dizzy. 

“Deke, we are going to get you to the room, we’ll help you up, come on,” Daisy spoke.

“Okay,” Deke replied. Jemma shifted to help them help Deke up. Daisy and Coulson stood behind Deke, no one missed the way his body practically slumped as Jemma moved away. 

Daisy lent out a hand to help him up, Deke took the hand and Daisy tried to pull Deke up off the ground, she expected him to stand immediately but she finally realised how pale he currently was and he instead of standing, slumped against the wall when his tired and dizzy body betrayed him.

Daisy quickly saved him from keeling over back onto the floor.

“Don’t move too fast, his head isn’t feeling too good,” Jemma advised Daisy before she moved him further. Daisy moved her head under Deke’s arm and even through his dressing gown, she could feel how hot he was. Coulson did the same helped Daisy lift Deke up and Coulson could feel the heat too. They both helped Deke stand as straight as possible despite his head falling limp showing his exhaustion. 

Deke was too out of it and tired at this point to protest over Coulson and Daisy keeping him upright, the tears stopped falling now but he still let out the soft sobbing gasps. Now that he was upright, Jemma tried to encourage him to walk, but as much as Deke wanted to, his legs barely wanted to cooperate, they hurt too much and felt too sluggish, all of his body did. He moved his legs a few steps before he found it too much effort. Jemma tried to encourage him further.

“I can’t, m-my legs don’t want to move, s-sorry.” Deke felt useless and like a burden at that moment. “I s-should’ve stayed in the room.” He whimpered guiltily.

Jemma looked at Deke, “it’s not your fault Deke.” Jemma then looked from Daisy to Coulson, “you’ll probably have to drag him, it’s the easiest option.”

They got to the room pretty quickly after that and lay the mostly unresponsive Deke on the biggest couch in the room. Once he was down on the couch, Jemma pulled the thermometer out of her pocket, Deke knew what to do and did it without being asked. The thermometer beeped then showed 103.4 F. 

Jemma started to worry more, Jemma cursed herself for not bringing the medication from his room with them. Jemma looked at Coulson and Daisy, “we need to cool him down, his fever is high grade. Coulson, can you grab an ice pack?” Coulson immediately did what he was told. 

“Daisy, help me get his dressing gown off.” Jemma insisted, undoing the fuzzy belt. Daisy then helped Jemma to pull one side off Deke and to move the dressing gown from under him. Deke tried to pull his gown back on.

“N-no, too c-cold.” He groaned, trying to tug it, but his weak and sluggish movements made it impossible.

“I know, I know Deke, but you’re burning up too much, we need to cool you down, it won’t be comfortable but it needs to be done,” Jemma said removing the gown from him further.

Deke had given up trying to physically fight against them but still let out a weak sounding protest, “noooo.” 

Coulson returned with the ice pack, he placed it on Deke’s forehead, Deke visibly cringed at the contact, his eyes went wide and he tried to fight the ice pack off.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay, calm down.” Coulson attempted to assure Deke, Coulson kept the ice pack there, and thankfully Deke calmed down after a few seconds. Deke closed his eyes and let out heavy breaths that almost looked like pants. 

All three watched him and could see the evident heavy sweating and shivering. Jemma looked to where she and Fitz were earlier and saw the blanket they used. It was light enough to use, Jemma grabbed and lay it on top of Deke, who now seemed to be mostly asleep. 

“We want him to be comfortable but not too hot. The blanket will help with that.” Jemma stated, flattening it out. “Deke?” Jemma asked wondering if he was still awake.

“Y-yeah?” Deke said quietly between his breaths, his eyes stayed closed though.

“Try and get some rest, feel free to call out if you need anything, okay?” Jemma said to Deke.

“‘Kay.” Deke breathed out before his breaths started to even out as he drifted off. 

After a few minutes to make sure he was actually sleeping, Jemma looked at Deke and loudly sighed, “he doesn’t do things halfway. He’s having a hell of a bad day. I wish I could do more to help him.” She spoke sadly before sitting down and pulling her phone out, she saw a text from Fitz and began to type a reply.

**[15:35] Fitz: Where are you?  
** [15:47] Simmons: Sorry was only now just able to reply, we are in the room where we were watching the movie earlier, Deke’s gone bad again, his fever has risen to 103.4°F, Coulson and Daisy helped me deal with him, he’s feeling very cold but his fever is getting dangerous as you know. He had another meltdown but he’s sleeping again now.  
[15:47] Fitz: Shit, okay. I’ll be on my way down in a moment, the soup is here and down. I’ll leave it here for now. Did you take the water with you?  
[15:48] Simmons: No, I left the water in his room.  
[15:48] Fitz: I’ll bring some down. 

The team was thankful that Deke had remained mostly quiet for a while, Coulson and Daisy had left for a bit for some food and water. Deke whimpered every now and then in his sleep, it was about 5:30 pm when Jemma heard the whimpers grow more frequent and louder, she picked up on him having a nightmare quickly. 

Jemma decided to wake him before it got potentially worse. She shook his shoulder gently, taking note that his fever has fortunately seemed to have gone down slightly. She was considering waking him soon but now was a good time.

“Deke. Come on, wake up.” Jemma shook his shoulder more. Fitz was also half asleep but woke up again when Jemma started talking. Jemma shook Deke’s shoulder once more before he woke up, startled and almost gasping for breath. 

He sat up quickly when he awoke and the ice bag ungraciously fell onto the floor, he looked around almost in a panicked manner, “it’s okay, you’re okay, it was just a nightmare. Lay back down now.” Jemma insisted in an almost motherly tone. 

Deke calmed down as he realised his surroundings, he lay back down. Jemma laid the blanket back on him as it was. Fitz also walked up to them both with a limp as one of his legs had fallen asleep. 

“Deke, do you think you can handle some food? You haven’t eaten all day.” Fitz wondered.

“I, um, can try,” Deke replied to Fitz. he was still a bit shaken and dazed over the nightmare and sudden awakening. 

“Good.” Fitz walked out of the room to warm up and fetch the soup, hoping it hadn’t gone stale. Jemma went to grab the water that Fitz brought down, she opened it and passed it to Deke, he was moving better now that he’d gotten some rest, but she wasn’t going to let him move easily unless he had someone to practically carry him back to his room. Deke took the bottle and shakily swallowed some mouthfuls. 

“Thanks.” He smiled, before coughing slightly. He let out a sigh, he still felt down, but right now, he felt emotionally tired, to the point he didn’t really care much. 

Jemma picked up the now warmed up ice pack off the floor, and place it on a nearby coffee table, she walked back to Deke and laid her hand on his forehead, the fever flush still evident. Deke closed his eyes when she did so. 

“You’re still pretty warm, do you mind if I take your temp again?” Jemma asked, removing her hand from his head, which in turn made Deke open his eyes again.

“Go ahead,” Deke spoke, coughing slightly again, Jemma retrieved the thermometer, Deke opened his mouth and did what he knew he had to. He waited for it to beep, he opened his mouth again when it did. 

Jemma pulled the thermometer out, “102.6°F. Well, it’s gone down which is good.” Jemma placed the thermometer down on a near table, she smiled down to Deke, who returned the gesture, though it was half-hearted. Jemma pulled her chair closer to Deke. “How are you feeling? And don’t try to bottle up.” Jemma said the latter part very seriously.

“I’m still quite tired,” Deke admitted, turning his head to Jemma. “I’m still in quite a bit of pain, but it’s okay.” Deke didn’t say anything about how he was feeling emotionally, just physically. 

Unfortunately for him, Jemma was also concerned about his emotional state.

“And how are you feeling emotionally?” Jemma asked him, the fact he didn’t say anything in the first place gave her somewhat an answer. Deke hesitated to give an answer, unsure what to say exactly. When Jemma didn’t get an answer straight away, she frowned slightly, “Deke.” She reminded him.

“I don’t know.” Deke finally admitted, he looked at Jemma, “Just t-tired again I guess? I still feel pretty low, but I’m okay.” He then turned his head back to face the ceiling, he closed his eyes and repeated, “I’m okay,” to himself in a quiet voice. 

Fitz returned with steaming soup in hand.  
“Got your food, hope you don’t mind soup. You may want to wait for it to cool down slightly though. Jemma can you pull a table up to him?” Fitz waited for Jemma to do so, he then placed the soup on the coffee table. “Do you want help sitting up?” Fitz asked Deke. 

“No. Or well, at least let me try to sit up on my own. I’ll say if I need help.” Deke spoke, he wanted to see if he was at least strong enough to do this one thing by himself. He slowly pushed himself up so that he didn’t make himself too dizzy or lightheaded. 

Fitz moved between Deke and the table just in case. Deke was almost all the way up when a head throb triggered a wave of dizziness. Deke stopped for a moment and swayed slightly, he noticed Jemma and Fitz shift as if ready to help.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Just give me a second.” Deke breathed and blinked his eyes again as if to clear them. He began to push himself up further and made it all the way up, but he needed help to turn, “okay, can you help me now?” Deke admitted defeat on trying to move his entire body. 

Fitz helped him turn since he was stood right next to Deke. Deke was satisfied once he was sitting on the sofa like a normal person would be, or somewhat. He was leaning forward because sitting upright was more effort, and his head throbs were making it hard for him to stay upright. 

Deke was anxious to reach for the bowl, he then felt Fitz sit next to him, followed by Jemma on his other side. Deke understood the gesture that they were doing, they were sat either side of him so that he wouldn’t fall easily. They both adjust the blanket around him, Deke couldn’t help but smile over their gestures. 

“Oh yeah, I saw Daisy and Coulson when I was getting the soup. They should be back down shortly. They said that Mack and Yo-Yo went out elsewhere and that May, is just doing, well, May things.” Fitz spoke to both Deke and Jemma. Deke stared at the soup, trying to gain the confidence and willpower to reach for it, let alone eat it. “Your soup isn’t going to stay warm Deke, and staring at it doesn’t help either.” 

“I know, I’m just- could you pass it to me? I can’t reach it from here easy and I don’t want to move. Sorry.” Deke mumbled sheepishly. He curled into himself by leaning forward further and let out a shaky breath, he felt cold but was trying to keep warm. Fitz handed the soup to Deke since it was on Fitz’s side. Deke took the soup in his shaky hands, “thanks.” 

Deke now stared at it for a few more seconds before grabbing a spoonful, Deke swallowed the mouthful, it provided temporary relief but Deke didn’t like the way it seemed to sit in his stomach, he hesitated to take another mouthful but felt both Jemma and Fitz looking at him expectedly. He took another mouthful and swallowed it. He took about six mouthfuls before he couldn’t find it in to eat more. 

Deke couldn’t stand wasting food, especially since he grew up with little to ever eat. But he really couldn’t do it anymore. “I um, I don’t think I can eat anymore. Sorry.” Deke said guiltily, he leaned over to the coffee table slowly and placed his bowl down, he moved back too fast when his head suddenly felt really light. Deke swayed and fell onto Jemma’s side before quickly setting himself straight. “Sorry, I moved too fast.” He wiped his sweaty face in embarrassment, his head hurt and he still felt lightheaded and slightly dizzy, it wasn’t passing. “Sorry. Can I lie down again? Sorry, I don’t mean to make you both move, my head’s, just, not good.”

“Of course, Deke,” Jemma spoke, getting up, Fitz also got up but without a word. “Do you need help getting back to lying down?” Jemma asked.

“Possibly, but l-let me try on my own again.” Deke hated having to depend on them both, he felt glad to have someone who cares, but it made him feel bad also.

He struggled to turn and struggled to get his legs back onto the sofa as they felt heavy and limp, but he managed to get them both on after multiple attempts. Now he just had to shuffle a bit and lie back. He managed to get himself comfy, but needed help rearranging the blanket he was under. “I just need help with getting the blanket the way it was, then I’m good.” Deke croaked out with his sore throat. Jemma sorted out his blanket and flattened it. 

“Is that okay?” Jemma checked with Deke.

“Yeah, thanks.” Deke curled to the side, his back to the back of the sofa, he was facing Fitz and Jemma. He swallowed and then heard footsteps approaching, he guessed it was Daisy and Coulson. Deke moved his head slowly to see the door. His assumption was correct when he saw them come in. 

Daisy noticed that he was still pale but had regained a more natural shade, she wondered if he felt better at all. Deke croaked out a simple, “hey,” before coughing, he then gave a massive sigh as he struggled to get his head together, he moved his head back to a comfy position, he felt his temperature rising despite being cold, he knew he was beginning to crash physically again.

Coulson moved towards Deke. The two may not be that close, but it didn’t mean Coulson wasn’t concerned. 

“How are you doing?” Coulson asked Deke, using a soft voice.

“Not great, but it’s mostly manageable right now.” Deke coughed weakly. Coulson stepped back slightly. Deke let out a slow and shaky breath. He placed a hand on his forehead, the room was beginning to spin for him again and he was going to try and ride it out but knew that he may not be able to do so. 

Everyone knew that his head wasn’t feeling good, but only Jemma and Fitz could tell he was now dealing with bad dizzy spells. However, no one knew what to do. They all spread out across the room, to keep an eye on Deke. Fitz then turned to the half-eaten bowl and then to Jemma next to him. He realised she probably hadn’t eaten today apart from the pizza slices earlier. 

Fitz turned to her, “you should eat something, drink too. You’ve been too busy caring for him that you’ve forgotten about yourself.” Fitz said quietly to her. Jemma nodded before leaving the room. 

It was barely two minutes before Fitz got a text message;

**[18:12] Simmons: I’m going to have a shower too, maybe even go to sleep if not a nap, I’m feeling quite tired myself. But keep me updated. X  
** [18:13] Fitz: Will do, also could I get Deke some painkillers? He is constantly rubbing his head, and that alone tells me it’s probably a severe headache. X  
[18:14] Simmons: Yeah I figured as much, grab him some Tylenol. I know I said earlier to not try and reduce the fever but after how he’s been today, I think it would help him more.  
[18:14] Fitz: Alright, on it. Try to relax. 

 

Fitz put his phone away and looked back at Deke who was rubbing his head, Fitz easily knew he had a killer headache, Fitz stood up, “I’m going to get Deke some Tylenol, Jemma has given the go clear that it’s okay. Keep an eye on him while I’m gone?” He aimed at Daisy and Coulson, barely waiting for a reply before walking out. 

Daisy and Coulson were left alone with Deke. Coulson was sat in a chair, now reading a book. Daisy took in how bad Deke looked. It wasn’t often she saw someone ill, but he looked the worst she’s seen in a long time. He was pale, sweaty and flushed. Deke also was breathing heavily with his mouth open, it was like he was panting. 

He had suddenly crashed physically, just ten minutes ago he was talking but showing signs of going downhill, and now he was barely responsive again. Hell, he looked healthier when he was coughing up blood a few months ago after being shot. He was also currently shivering, and Daisy felt immense pity over it, she didn’t envy him, however.

Daisy walked to him, she moved Deke’s hand from his head, and put hers there instead so that she felt Deke’s forehead, she checked his temperature from touch, his forehead was wet and sticky, and he felt too hot to be normal. Daisy decided that she should get him a damp cool cloth. Deke slowly raised his hand back on his head after a few seconds, she didn’t miss the wince he let out as he moved.

“Coulson, I’m going to get Deke a cool cloth, can you make sure he stays lying down?”

“No, I’ll go get it, I’ll put the now warmed up ice pack back in the freezer too. If anything happens, I think he’s more likely to listen and respond to you.” Coulson replied, getting up out of the chair. He picked up the ice pack and headed out. 

Deke’s eyes were closed and his head mostly still, apart from the slight sway it did every fifteen seconds or so. She then picked up he was feeling dizzy, his head bobbed as if he was moving, and she couldn’t find another reason for it to be that way, apart from the shivering which probably worsened the feeling. 

Daisy reflected on the time she had the flu before, she didn’t remember it being quite this bad, so she couldn’t imagine how he felt. Daisy sat down on a nearby chair, making sure to be attentive to any changes in Deke’s poor condition. 

Coulson quickly returned to the room with a cloth in a bowl of cold water, Deke was the same way he was when Coulson left, Coulson had to move Deke’s hand slightly, he then took the damp cloth and placed it on Deke’s forehead. Deke felt a sudden cold and damp cloth on his head, he gasped but the cloth brought relief, Deke tried to say “thanks,” though it sounded more like a whimpered breath. 

Deke quickly went back to panting heavily, Daisy and Coulson were unable to do much other than watch and keep an eye on him. They both hoped Fitz returned with the Tylenol soon, his fever seemed to have suddenly risen again. Deke lay there and previously thought he could ride the dizziness out but his head hurt too much and it wasn’t going away, not even with the added cloth. 

Deke decided it was better if he kept his eyes closed, he feared what would possibly happen if he opened them. A painful throb shot through Deke’s head, he shivered and a pitiful whimper of pain escaped his lips. Deke wanted nothing other to fall asleep to escape this hell he was in. He wanted to think of alternatives to this but his head just hurt too much. 

Deke was too out of it to really notice that Fitz and Jemma had both left, he just wanted to feel at least half good again. Deke coughed again which maintained to dizziness racking his mind, he barely knew that his head was no longer facing up, the only thing telling him so was the new pressure of his cheek against the pillow his head was on. He felt more comfortable this way, and so, slowly turned his body over in the same direction. 

Daisy and Coulson saw Deke turn his head and body towards them, thankfully Deke’s hand on his head kept the cloth there. Deke began to let out more whimpers, Daisy and Coulson could do nothing but hope Fitz returned soon.

Fitz returned to the room soon enough, he made sure to be fast, he had the Tylenol in hand with more water. Fitz got two tablets in his hand and grabbed the water, he turned to the other two in the room. 

“Can one of you try to hold or prop him upright? I can’t get him to take these if he’s lying down.” Fitz ordered, Daisy moved forward and tapped Deke’s shoulder. 

“Deke?” She asked.

“Mmyeah.” Deke slurred, as if half asleep.

“We are going to need to move you upright? I know you’re feeling really dizzy but this will help.”

“Mmkay.” Deke slurred once more, he wasn’t meaning to sound so pathetic but he was just too tired and dizzy to sound coherent enough. Daisy began to move him up, his hand slumped from exhaustion and the cloth fell to the floor. Deke also struggled to keep his head up, his eyes remained closed too. 

Daisy got him upright after about twenty to thirty seconds, though she had to continue holding him up, she could tell he was feeling too weak and dizzy to do it himself right now. Since Deke could barely move, Fitz had to get the medicine into Deke, he put the pills in Deke’s mouth, then gave him some water and told Deke to swallow. Deke had to work up to it for a few seconds but he did, Daisy, then gently lay a practically limp Deke back down.

His face was immensely pale and she wouldn’t have been surprised if he passed out on her. Coulson had picked the cloth up and placed it back into the bowl, then back on Deke’s head after a few seconds of being in cold water. Deke let out a feeble moan as the cloth was placed on. Coulson then stepped back and left Deke alone. 

“I’m going to update May on what’s going on,” Coulson announced, before leaving Daisy and Fitz alone with Deke. Daisy was still visibly tense around Fitz, Fitz couldn’t blame her but he wished that she would forgive him fully, but she said herself that she would never forgive him. 

Fitz began to feel guilty over the whole past situation again, he sat down and fiddled with his hands anxiously. Daisy also felt the tension that suddenly rose as Coulson left them alone with each other. Daisy thought about talking to Fitz, even opened her mouth to speak a few times, but she was never able to find the right words to start with. 

After about ten minutes of tense silence, Daisy found the words she wanted to say.

“Fitz, can we talk outside?” She didn’t want to disturb Deke too much. Fitz let out a shaky breath before following Daisy out of the room. 

“You should know that it was the heat of the moment and I was in agony, possibly about to become paralysed. But I forgive you.” Daisy began.

“You do? Why?” Fitz replied and he felt confused on why.

“Because, even if it was you, it wasn’t the true you. And when does anyone get the choice on what their mind does? You were having a psychotic episode. And while none of us can relate to the experience. I know what it’s like to not be your true self and hurting those around you.”

“I-I could have paralysed you!” Fitz bit back, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

“What you said on the table is true. I shouldn’t be forgiven.”

“But it wasn’t you!”

“It was!” Fitz moved his hand from his nose and held it out in an argumentative gesture, “it was me! The framework version of me had as many memories as I did when I left the framework. It felt like another complete life. The doctor is as real as the person you are trying to convince yourself that I still am.” Fitz looked away then turned back to her with wet eyes a few seconds later.

“But it wasn’t the real you, you were having a psychotic break and your lives became separate, you couldn’t help it. Not really. And we know it had to be done.” Daisy countered, she got closer to Fitz and hesitantly wrapped him in a hug. 

“It was. Me. Daisy, I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I really don’t.” Fitz cried slightly.

“Even if it was, which I still don’t believe. I forgive you, Fitz.” Daisy let go of Fitz. “I forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself too.” 

“Okay.” Fitz submitted, he still didn’t agree with her but was glad that he was forgiven, even if he didn’t deserve it at all. Both Daisy and Fitz walked back in the room. 

Daisy rubbed the back of Fitz’s shoulders in a respectful and concerned gesture. Fitz sniffed a sob up, then sat down. He looked at Deke, Fitz forgot that he was still here for a moment, Fitz observed Deke and noticed his shivering seemed to be getting less intense, meaning that the meds were kicking in.

“Was wondering where you both went.” Deke rasped and turned his head slowly to Fitz, then slowly moved it to Daisy. Deke’s eyes had opened again and he was keeping the cloth on his head by himself. Deke then moved his head back to looking at the ceiling and closed his eyes trying to relax. “I think those meds you gave me are working. I don’t feel as much pain now and I don’t feel as cold. Though I’m still shivering.” He breathed out of his mouth shakily with relief then coughed.

“Are you still feeling dizzy?” Fitz asked, concerned.

“A bit, but it’s manageable, I’m okay.” Deke smiled, keeping the cloth on his head.

“I’ll give it about fifteen more minutes for the medication to settle in more, then take your temperature again, see how much your fever has gone down. That okay?” Fitz asked, stroking his hair back, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket as a new text came through. He waited for Deke’s reply before grabbing his phone.

“Yeah, I don’t have any objections to the thermometer by the way. You don’t need to keep asking if I’m okay with it.” Deke replied. Fitz nodded, then grabbed his phone.

**[19:03] Simmons: How is he? I just got out the shower, I’ll be getting a bite to eat now.  
** [19:06] Fitz: Gave him the medicine about 15-20 minutes ago. It’s improving, he’s coherent again, doesn’t seem to be in as much pain either. I’ll take his temperature in about 10 or so minutes.  
[19:06] Simmons: Glad to hear, keep him there for the night, I don’t think it’s a good idea to move him much.  
[19:07] Fitz: Alright, I’ll make sure someone stays here with him too. Maybe even me. Get some good food down you then get rest. X 

Deke opened his eyes and looked to the ceiling. He wanted to sit up, his bones felt stiff and he wanted to loosen them. He began moving and immediately had Daisy and Fitz fretting over what he was trying to do. They pushed him back down, not knowing what he was trying to do.

“Lie back down, you’re not going anywhere,” Daisy ordered Deke.

Deke looked at her, “I know. But I want to sit up.” He replied, hoping they would let him.

“Okay, but, if you show signs of bad dizziness, we’ll lay you down again. Deal?” Daisy replied, “Speaking of which. How is your dizziness now? And don’t lie.”

“I said about five minutes ago that it was still there, but manageable. I’ll lie back down if it gets bad again. I promise.” Deke smiled sheepishly. 

“And you gotta sit yourself up, if you can’t manage to do that, I want you to lie back down, okay?” Fitz added.

“Okay, gotcha gramps.” Deke spoke, the two let him go and he began to push himself up again. It was a slow process, but he got himself up and comfortable. 

While he was getting himself into a sitting position, Coulson and May returned and sat down in a nearby seat. Deke smiled at them as he was still putting in the effort in getting himself upright. By the time he was there, he was panting and tired, but he felt relieved. He was still slightly lightheaded, the room spun slightly but not enough to make himself keel over. Deke leaned back against the back of the seat. 

“Yeah, that’s good, makes less pressure in my chest.” Deke sighed. He noticed the TV, “can we watch something?” He asked the others. Daisy and Fitz looked at each other, then to Deke. May and Coulson were having a private conversation between themselves.

“Don’t see why not. But before we do, I’m going to take your temperature now.” Fitz replied and picked the thermometer up. He wiped it down and inserted it into Deke’s mouth. When done, it displayed the result of 101.2°F. “It’s 101.2°F. So still not out of fever-range but is close to being so. It’s no concern.” Fitz smiled, he looked at Daisy, “What films do we have?” Fitz then felt his phone go off.

**[19:17] Simmons: I decided I don’t really want sleep, I’ve grabbed something to eat, I’m on my way back. X  
[19:18] Fitz: Alright, Deke wants to watch a film, meds have kicked in good now. His temperature is down to 101.2°F. X**

Daisy walked to the shelf that had the DVD’s on. There weren’t many, and Daisy didn’t want to watch Grown Ups again despite enjoying it earlier. There were six other films to choose from; Marley and Me, The Maze Runner, The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials, The Maze Runner: The Death Cure, Big Hero 6 and Ready Player One. Daisy lay the selection of films down on the table for Deke to see.

“You can choose one of these,” Daisy spoke, then stood in her usual arms crossed position. Deke studied all of the films that were in front of him. Deke felt drawn to Big Hero 6 and decided to choose that film. 

Deke pointed to it, “That one. Looks interesting.” Daisy then picked it up and placed it into the DVD player. May and Coulson were now watching the others. They weren’t sure how to feel about Big Hero 6 being chosen, they hadn’t watched it, but it seemed like it was probably childish. 

The film was about to start when Mack, Yo-Yo and Jemma walked into the room.  
“Bumped into them when I was on my way back.” Jemma smiled, then looked to Deke. “Why is he sitting up? He should be lying down!” She protested, about to make him lie down again, Deke spoke up quickly.

“It’s okay! I managed to get himself up, and me, Daisy and Fitz cut a deal that if I began to feel badly dizzy, I was to lie down again. Just give me a chance?” Deke pleaded. 

“Okay, okay. Just make sure you stick to it.” Jemma backed down, she then sat next to Deke. Fitz and Daisy sat on the floor in front of the sofa, and Mack and Yo-Yo sat on a sofa opposite May and Coulson.

When everyone had settled down, the robot fight scene was starting and Deke was already absorbed into the film, he hadn’t seen many films and this was one of the first 3D animation films he had ever watched. Deke was beginning to feel better emotionally, the film was helping, he was in awe over it. Deke also fell in love with Baymax the second he showed up on screen. 

When they got about 25 minutes into the film and the building exploded, Deke thought about how cool it looked but when the others in the room that were paying attention tensed up and seemed sad and shocked, he realised what had happened. 

Deke got sad as funeral happened. Deke thought this would be a fun film but now was unsure about that now. He watched about five minutes more and was enjoying it again, it still had depressing themes but there was humour and he really liked Baymax. 

The film went on for about half an hour more before Deke felt himself nodding off. He was disappointed because he knew he wouldn’t be able to watch it all, despite really wanting to. He felt his eyes start to close and his head began to fall limp before he straightened up again. 

Jemma saw him out of the corner of her eye, she thought it was him falling into a dizzy spell when his head began to bob down but she saw his eyes flutter shut, her mind went to him passing out and her heart almost dropped but when he jerked it up again, she immediately knew he was just falling asleep. 

Jemma knew it wouldn’t help him if he fell asleep while sitting up, so she offered to let him use her lap to sleep on so that the others weren’t distracted. She tapped Deke’s shoulder just as he was beginning to almost fall asleep again, it got his attention, his eyes widened as he became aware again, Deke looked at her, then saw her gesture to her lap. Deke didn’t really understand what she was trying to tell him. Jemma could see the confusion in his eyes, she then leaned closer to his ear.

“You look like you’re about to basically pass out, lay down and use my leg as a pillow,” Jemma whispered to not get the others attention.

“I feel fine,” Deke denied, also whispering, “I’m not feeling faint, I’m not going to pass out.”

“I don’t mean that kind of passing out, I mean like you are struggling to stay awake because you’re tired. Now, do as I said and lie down.” Jemma replied, using a bossy and stubborn tone in the latter sentence. 

Deke sighed and began to do as she said, he slowly lowered himself down and placed his head onto her lap. He continued to watch as much of the movie as he could. Before nodding off again, he felt Jemma’s hand rub his hair again, it brought him comfort and started to make him drowsy again. 

Within a minute, he was nodding off again. Deke also realised that he had a family again. Deke let his eyes slip closed. He had a family that cared for him again. He felt his body growing heavier as he let his body fall asleep. It was all good. Deke felt himself smile. Everything was okay.

He was okay.


End file.
